Building a Healthy Marriage

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Malcolm Webber

Building a Healthy Marriage

Please do all the following as a couple. This is suitable to prepare for marriage or to improve your marriage.

1. Read The Christian Family together before you do this learning experience.

2. Begin by praying together that the Holy Spirit will lead you in a true understanding of His intention and design for marriage, and an accurate recognition of the specific challenges that you face in building a healthy marriage. Pray for each other that God will help you be the husband and wife He’s called you to be. Continue to pray as the Holy Spirit leads you.

3. Think of another couple who you consider to have a good marriage. What makes it good?

4. Chose two biblical marriages to examine and discuss:

Adam & Eve             Abraham & Sarah
Isaac & Rebekah      Jacob & Rachel
David & Michal         Boaz & Ruth
Mary & Joseph         Aquila & Priscilla 

• Describe the circumstances and characteristics of their relationship.
• What was good or bad about their relationship?
• What do you want to imitate and/or avoid in your own relationship?

5. Read Ephesians 5:22-33 together.

• What is the parallel Paul establishes here?
• Discuss the roles of husband and wife with your spouse.
• What is challenging about this type of relationship?
• What is encouraging?

6. Reflect together on your parents’ marriages – both strengths and weaknesses. What could be some good things that will carry over into your marriage? What might be some difficulties that will carry over? What other challenges might you face related to your parents?

7. As a couple, meet with another couple who demonstrate a healthy marriage and invite them to share the “secrets of their success.” Meet with them as a couple; also spend time husband with husband and wife with wife.

• In advance, prepare three questions to ask them during your meeting.
• Honestly share your struggles with the mature couple and ask their advice.
• Meet also with them just man-to-man and woman-to-woman.
• Ask them to honestly share their struggles with you.
• Share with them your vision for what you want your marriage to look like in five years – prepare this vision in advance. With their help, make a broad plan, addressing the appropriate issues to make the vision a reality.
• Have the mature couple pray for you.
• Meet monthly with them for the next year. Be accountable to them.
  Do some fun things with them occasionally. Watch how they interact together.

8. Identify the biggest current challenge in your marriage. In prayer, make a mutual plan for improvement. In one month, revisit your plan and evaluate your progress. Receive feedback from your accountability couple.