Active Listening
From Leaderpedia
by Robert Walter
Purpose
To increase skill in listening during interpersonal communication
To learn how to value others through active listening
He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
Exercise
Active listening is a way of valuing a person and showing them love. It often enables people to gain enough confidence to solve their own problems when someone shows interest and listens in a non-judgmental way.
According to Robert L. Montgomery, author of Listening Made Easy, the ten most common characteristics of a good listener are:
Looks at me while I'm speaking.
Questions me to clarify what I'm saying.
Shows concern by asking questions about my feelings.
Repeats some things I say.
Doesn't rush me.
Is poised and emotionally controlled.
Responds with a nod of the head, a smile, or a frown.
Pays close attention.
Doesn't interrupt me.
Keeps on the subject until I've finished my thoughts.
General Instructions:
Divide into groups of three. Each person is to take a turn at being a Speaker, Listener, and Observer. (Pass the “checkered floor tile” to the speaker as a reminder of who has the floor.)
1. Speaker presents his problem while Listener listens.
2. Speaker and Listener talk over feelings and ideas that were expressed.
3. Observer reports his observations to Speaker and Listener.
Individual Instructions:
1. Speaker: Choose a real, current, personal problem dealing with an issue that can be presented and understood in five minutes. Engage as genuinely as possible.
2. Listener: Listen thoughtfully to the issue presented. Your task is not to give advice, but to let the Speaker know you understand.
3. Observer: Listen carefully, keep track of the time, and note how well the Listener does using Montgomery’s characteristics as a checklist.
Change positions until everyone has practiced each role.
If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.—Turkish Proverb
